Living Well with Pain: Insights for Patients and Care Teams

Science & Research

Sep 23

At Tall Tree, we know that living with chronic pain isn’t just about symptoms — it’s about your whole life. That’s why, last month, we invited a guest speaker with lived experience of persistent pain to share their lessons learned and to offer wisdom to healthcare providers.

Their reflections were powerful reminders of what really matters in care: being seen, being heard, and being supported as a whole person. Here are some of the highlights.

📋 Pain scales and intake forms: more than numbers

Filling out intake forms or circling numbers on a pain scale can feel pointless if no one looks at them. Many patients wonder: “Does anyone even read this?”

Used well, these tools should be about more than pain intensity. They can help your healthcare team understand your daily routines, values, and goals.

Example: One patient shared that instead of only being asked, “Rate your pain out of 10,” they felt seen when a clinician asked, “How is your pain affecting your ability to cook dinner or get out for a walk?”

🗣️ How language affects healing

Words can heal or harm. A careless phrase can stick for years and make you feel discouraged, while supportive language can spark hope.

Instead of focusing only on what’s “wrong,” a strength-based approach builds confidence and highlights what’s possible.

Example: Being told “Your back is fragile” can make someone fearful of movement for months. In contrast, hearing “Your back is strong, and we’ll help it adapt” gave another patient the confidence to return to gardening.

🔄 Flare-ups don’t mean failure

For many people with chronic pain, symptoms come and go. A flare-up can feel like a setback — but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

True progress isn’t only about getting pain to zero. It’s about learning how to manage ups and downs, building routines that support you on bad days, and recognizing when life is improving even if pain still fluctuates.

Example: One person said, “My pain was worse this week, but I still managed to go for two short walks. That’s progress, even if my pain score went up.”

🌱 Protecting identity when pain takes over

When pain takes up too much space, it can start to feel like it defines who you are. That’s why reconnecting with your hobbies, roles, and relationships is so important.

Example: A patient who loved playing the piano said they felt most encouraged when their clinician asked, “What pieces would you love to play again?” That conversation helped shift the focus from symptoms to goals that made life meaningful.

⚖️ The pressure of proving pain

Many people feel they have to prove their pain — whether to doctors, insurance systems, or workplaces. This can make patients nervous about sharing progress, worried it will be dismissed or “held against them.”

That pressure is exhausting. What helps most is when care providers offer trust and validation, and focus on consistency and function over one-time feats.

Example: One person shared, “I finally told my doctor I played tennis last weekend, but I felt like I had to downplay it, in case they thought I was exaggerating my condition.”

🎉 What actually helps patients feel supported

In the end, the little things count most:

A clinician who reads your chart before you arrive
Someone who listens first before rushing to treatment
Flexible care plans that adapt during flare-ups
Encouragement to find safe movement even on tough days

Example: A patient recalled, “My therapist noticed my breathing was shallow when I flared. She paused the exercise, taught me a breathing technique, and suddenly I felt safe again. That mattered more than any exercise that day.”

And when progress is made, celebrate it! 🎉 Just be mindful to check in — is this a new normal, or a one-off? Both deserve recognition, but each calls for a different next step.

The bottom line: safety → movement → confidence

Small, everyday interactions create safety. Safety enables movement. Movement builds confidence. And weaving in joy and fun along the way makes the journey sustainable.

👉 Looking for more support? Explore our free resources for pain, depression, shoulder pain, running injuries, and more. Or connect with our team at Tall Tree to take the next step toward living well with pain.

At Tall Tree, our team is always learning. We stay up to date with the latest research, listen to people with lived experience, and check in with ourselves and each other to ensure we’re providing the best possible care.